Cirque du So'Gay

So I got one of those Swarthmore/Skidmore confusions going on in an otherwise great conversation (It happens... no offense taken, seriously) this weekend, and thought I'd give you all a little bit of info on Swat. The following has actually been published in Penguin Books' Students Guide to Colleges for 2006 (with some changes... I'm not violating copyright, right?) Bear in mind it was written some time ago, and late at night. This also represents a sort of cop-out post, in that I am too tired to come up with a truly original post, and very little of what I could report from the weekend would not cause social havoc in at least two states. Needless to say, the weekend was almost unprecedentedly awesome for a variety of distinct and beautiful reasons. My thanks to those who helped make some memories in Boston, and those who helped erase some in Providence.

Name: Brian Nolan
Major: Chemistry
What is your career goal? unknown
How would you describe your school's reputation? Swarthmore is well known in certain academic circles,though poorly characterized just about anywhere else("Isn't it an all-girl school?"). It has a reputation for dazzlingly brutal workloads and an unconventional social scene. The students, I think, are more or less approached as freaks or geeks. The typical response I get when I tell folks I'm from Swarthmore is a blank stare.
Is this reputation accurate? Why or why not?By and large I think the school's reputation is accurate, inasmuch as one sentiment can really describe an entire (small) population of diverse, different, and amazing people. Yes, the work is very difficult, but it is often administered with care and understanding from professors, and the student approach to the workload is just as intense as the volume of work we're faced with. As for the social scene, we live in a dry suburb of Philadelphia,s urrounded by students who are just as likely to get enveloped in a good book on a Saturday night as they are to wind up at a dance party.
What would an admissions officer at your school probably not tell a prospective student? Generally admissions would not tell you that the town of Swarthmore is far and away the worst college town outside of Beirut.
The Institution:I was really really excited to be at Swarthmore my freshman year. I had a perpetual grin on my face, the dark circles and sallow complexion had not yet settled in. Armed with a back pack, pens and pencils, and whatI considered a liberal humanistic approach, I could take on anything. Two years later I find myself returned from studying abroad, acrimonious, overworked, addicted to cigarettes, unhealthy approach to drinking, desperately single, and generally unmotivated. Who's to blame? I want my freshman year back!
The Education:Professors are genuinely available for interaction with students, in and out of class. They are largely approachable and friendly, interact well with students, and go out of their way to demonstrate this. Some even show up at parties, even drag parties. I haven't decided whether or not this is a mark of a cool Prof. Academics truly INVADE social experience. Whether it's misery poker at every meal, or dissecting arguments and classmates over a gin and tonic on a Saturday night, you will find it hard to mentally get out of class. Students are very passive-aggressively competitive. It's somewhat gauche to be demonstratively so, and mentioning grades, GPAs and test scores is frowned upon. There are very few students who are not secretly grinding axes to get to the head of a class.
The Students: Largely left of center student population. A friend of mine once claimed that "Everyone at Swarthmore is either queer or Jewish. Or left-handed." That particular evening it covered everyone in the room. In general, if she had added "oppressed," she'd have a universal statement. LGBT groups on campus a restrained, but welcoming. Swarthmore as an institution is actively queer-supportive, and the student population is tolerant if not actively interested in queer issues, the groups are sort of superfluous, and find themselves catering to the confused bisexual freshmen girls and the sex-radical transfeminist advocates. While seemingly open, it's VERY rare that anyone comes out after freshman year. This may be due to clique-yness, though I can't really justify it. Personally, I've found Swarthmore to be a great place to come into my sexual identity... I just wish there was a larger dating/whatever pool to splash around in. And more time in which to do so. Students typically mix pretty well. There are too few of us not too. Still, there is a significant amount of polarization between black students and students of other racial backgrounds. This is not unilateral, but it is present.
The average student? Wears sandals 9 months out of the year. Voted Democrat this year, but for Nader four years ago. Is wealthier than they would have you know. Wishes they were as cool as that girl with the boots. Has a radio show. Drinks too much coffee. Prefers hard liquor to beer. Doesn't smoke cigarettes, but can be convinced to take a hit.
The Activities: When I leave campus, which is rare, it's usually to the liquor store. Or to Philadelphia/UPENN. There are no bars in Swarthmore, and while the college policy on alcohol is VERY progressive, sometimes the aspect of being seen drinking a classy drink outweighs the pricetag. Well, It's 12:30 on a Wednesday night, andI'll be awake for a while. Most likely I'll be working for a few hours, I'll slam back some Nyquil, and wakeup at the crack of dawn to TA an orgo lab. If it was a weekend, and I had my senses about me, I'd probably take a walk in our beautiful arboretum. There areusually some great late-night conversations going on... it's the only way to get your mind off the utter lack of food after midnight. This is truly a campus of gremlins. The people sitting outside? A) The freshmen who go to EVERY multicultural event and feel the needto really make you know that they are getting a lot out of this school. B) The athletes are throwing a frisbee around, not terribly anxious about work. Some people find them attractive... hmmmm. C) The kids who wear capes, read fantasy, and juggle. They're a hoot. And they'd prefer that I said "Cloaks." D)Hipper-than-thou arts/theater/radio/NYC crowd, lounging about with affected accents, their anthropology books sprawled about, trying to say fuck as often and loudly as possible. They're a good time.
The Social Scene: Thursday, Friday and Saturday night are typically the nights that party situations are available. Most people only choose one on a weekly basis. This campus... approaches alcohol... strangely. Teetotallers, the moderate, and the problem drinkers. We all get along. Friday night starts with a room party. Loud 80s music, shared drinks. We probably saw a movie on campus, or just took a nap to make up for the 2 hours of sleep the night before. After an hour or so of prepartying, we head off to the dance party for a night of sweaty bad dancing to hiphop and top 40 delights, hoping to get groped by the right people,and hoping that the condom that's been in your back pocket for three months might get some fresh air. // I feel like I know just about everyone on campus, by sight if not reputation. It's a burden... news travels SO fast. My friends who are abroad right now are often cluing me in on some gossip I've missed while buried in the basement of the science library. // Funny you should ask. Unless you are INTIMATELY familiar with someone, you do NOT say hi to them on the sidewalk."Hey, you're in my math class. How's it going?" "" . I hold doors though.
What do you and your friends do at college when you're bored?1) Whine 2) Masturbate (alone) 3) Come up with stupid puns
Five words that describe your school are: aggravating, rewarding, awkward, brilliant, inertial
What do I wish I’d known about college life beforehand? I personally don’t think that college life can be prepared for. It’s far more interesting and fun, and not significantly more difficult, to just jump in headlong and deal with what you find once you’re up to your chin in it.
Swarthmore College in one sentence: You’ll lose all the little battles, and you’ll probably lose the war, but those scars are pretty damn cool!

# posted by Brian @ 6:19 PM